Quotebook - Excerpts

Περιγράφω:

1. Βάλε λέξεις στην εμπειρία σου. Όταν σου έρχεται ένα συναίσθημα ή μια σκέψη, ή όταν κάνεις κάτι, αναγνώρισέ το. Για παράδειγμα, πες μέσα στο μυαλό σου «μόλις με κατέκλυσε θλίψη», ή «σφίγγεται το στομάχι μου», ή «περνάει από το μυαλό μου η σκέψη: ‘δεν μπορώ να τα καταφέρω’».
2. Δώσε όνομα σε ό,τι παρατηρείς. Ονομάτισε τα συναισθήματά σου. Πες για μια σκέψη σου ότι είναι απλά σκέψη, για ένα συναίσθημα ότι είναι απλά συναίσθημα, για μια πράξη ότι είναι απλά πράξη.
3. Ξεχώρισε τις ερμηνείες και τη γνώμη σου από τα γεγονότα. Περίγραψε το «ποιός, τι, πότε και πού» τα οποία παρατηρείς. Μείνε μόνο στα γεγονότα.

Παρατηρώ:

1. εστίασε την προσοχή σου επίτηδες, στην παρούσα στιγμή.
2. τις αισθήσεις στο σώμα σου (μέσω των ματιών, αυτιών, μύτης, δέρματος και γλώσσας).
3. Έλεγξε την προσοχή σου, αλλά όχι αυτό που βλέπεις. Μην διώχνεις τίποτα. Μην προσκολλάσαι σε κάτι.
4. Παρατήρησε τόσο μέσα σου, όσο και έξω από εσένα.

Μημονικός κανόνας:

1. παρόν, υπάρχω τώρα
2. έξω
3. μέσα
4. αισθήσεις
5. τι νιώθω
6. τι προσέχω

We understand the suicidal act as fundamentally a solution to internalised conflicts, that is,

conflicts that originated in interaction with the primary caretakers during

childhood but became incorporated into the child’s mind. In this way,

interpersonal conflicts become intrapersonal and independent of the

environment

I tolerate imperfection — and even enjoy it — when there is emotional safety.

In dancing or sex, I am not afraid of mistakes.

I am sensitive to rejection and judgment.

When the other person signals warmth, I relax and enjoy the imperfection with them.

Ambivalence and contradiction are at the centre of the suicidal act.

Suicide can be seen as an act:

1. depressive state (life not worth living)
2. cry for help
3. a means to manipulate others
4. a rational decision

Closer scrutiny of unconscious processes reveals the less acceptable face of suicide as an act aimed at destroying

the self’s body and tormenting the mind of another.

Right now, career rebuild > housing optimization.

Not because housing isn’t important — but because:

1. A house does not generate resilience
2. A viable income path does

Buying now would feel like safety, but:

1. it doesn’t fix income risk
2. it reduces flexibility
3. it increases psychological pressure

Your intuition is already pointing the right way, even if it feels awful.

It’s not:

1. “What if I lose 15k?”
2. “What if prices don’t drop?”
3. 
   

It’s this:

“What if I end up dependent on forces that don’t care about me?

Renting symbolizes dependence.

Buying symbolizes irreversibility.

So your mind is stuck between:

1. exposure
2. entrapment

That’s why it feels awful either way.

The bitter, honest answer to “couldn’t it be simpler?”

Yes.

A jellyfish has no depression.

A crocodile has no identity crisis.

A cat does not question meaning.

But they also:

1. don’t write music
2. don’t fall in love
3. don’t dream of being chosen
4. don’t build castles
5. don’t grieve

Complexity gives beauty — and agony.

You got a brain that can:

1. imagine eternity
2. fear annihilation
3. long for being held
4. think itself into hell

That’s the price.

Why attachment, sex, and identity are tangled

Because in evolution:

1. Babies who cried for caregivers survived
2. Children who bonded strongly got protected
3. Adolescents who sought acceptance reproduced

So nature welded together:

1. love
2. fear
3. sexual desire
4. belonging
5. self-worth

It never separated them.

That’s why rejection feels annihilating.

That’s why sexuality feels existential.

That’s why love feels like life or death.

Not because it should — but because it worked well enough.